I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
