Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
