why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
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