y did u give ur computer a hand job?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
