what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
