All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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