i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
