We won't sleep together?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
