oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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