He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
