i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Found the puke drawer
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
