FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
