lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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