try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Are we still banned from the library?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
