just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
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