Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
