and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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