The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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