apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
