I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
