I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
