isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
