You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
ugly people sure do ruin things
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
