I didn't shave. On purpose
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
