His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
