PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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