Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I am mentally ready for anal.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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