well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
