I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
