tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
