great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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