That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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