If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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