We got so high we made milksteak
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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