They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize