I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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