i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
