i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
