Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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