Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
