Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
