Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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