Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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