Who wears a wallet chain?!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
