So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
