Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
