just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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