Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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