Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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