Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
