Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
