So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
