Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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