I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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