I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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