some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize