I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
